


10/23

by Mirax3163



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Birthday, Depression, Fluff, Husbands, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Service Dogs, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25996897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirax3163/pseuds/Mirax3163
Summary: After the war, Shiro is finding it difficult to adapt to civilian life. There is no longer the constant need to be combat ready as a distraction from his mind. Keith has always been there for him to help him on his bad days, but today, it's Shiro's turn to return the favor. He has to... just this one day, give something back to his husband, after Keith has given him so much for so long... it seems almost impossible, but there might be someone who can help.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 63





	10/23

10/23

Shiro’s eyes opened slowly. It felt like someone had poured cement over his eyelids as he struggled to focus his blurry vision on the digital clock next to him. 11:46 AM…. He could tell Keith was no longer in the bed next to him just by the absence of his warmth. It took him a few moments to remember that Keith had woken him up briefly that morning to tell him he was going somewhere. Shiro couldn’t remember where, but Keith always left notes.

Regardless, Shiro’s body felt like lead and he wasn’t hungry, thirsty, or in need of the restroom, so he almost let his eyes slip closed again before remembering something very important. What day was it again? He squinted at the clock one more time before feeling a jolt of anxiety in his chest. October 23rd… shit. Shiro groaned as he shoved himself slowly upright on the bed, running his hands over his face. He had to get his ass out of bed today, it was Keith’s birthday. Shiro groaned again as he realized he hadn’t said happy birthday to Keith before he left this morning even though he should have known. 

“Idiot…” he muttered to himself as he shifted to the edge of the bed and hauled himself to his feet. He let out a heavy sigh as he shuffled into the bathroom. Why did it have to be today, why couldn’t it be on one of his good days when he had the energy? He leaned against the faucet as he bit his lower lip. Wake up… come on. Half the day’s already gone.

He pulled a comb through his hair a few times and brushed his teeth before turning the squeaky faucet again to fill a small glass of water. There were about eight bright orange bottles with white labels placed neatly along the back of the counter, five of them on one side and three on the other. They were separated to help Shiro remember which ones to take in the morning and which in the evening… another artifact of Keith’s effort to make things as easy as possible for him; no matter how messy he left the counter the previous night, Keith always tidied up after him. 

He picked up the five bottles on the left one by one and rattled out one or two pills, leaned his head back and threw them in, finishing with a large gulp of water. He made a slight face as the unpleasant aftertaste hit his tongue, then sighed again as he returned to the bedroom. He pulled open the chest of drawers on the far side of the room to find all of his clothes neatly folded inside. He wished he could take credit for it, but Keith was the one responsible, again. Some days it seemed he was bombarded with reminders of his inadequacy from the moment he woke up. He rubbed his forehead and tried to push the thought out of his mind as he pulled out a shirt and some jeans and pulled them on. 

He shuffled into the kitchen, and as expected, there was a note left on the counter. 

_Hey babe, had to head off to Garrison for a project they want me on. Shouldn’t take all day. I’ll be home between 5 and 6. Call if you need me. Love you._

Shiro’s eyes lingered on the heart Keith signed all of his notes with. It was such a simple thing but it got to him every time. He took a few steps over to the couch and sat down to think. So he had about five hours to do something special for Keith. What in the world was he going to do? Going outside was out of the question, he was already too anxious about forgetting Keith’s birthday and the last thing Keith needed was to come home to a sobbing Shiro because he went outside and got triggered. Keith always made sure to have scratch ingredients in the kitchen, but even with a recipe Shiro always managed to fuck something up. Shiro wasn’t crafty at all so making something as a present was also out. 

“Cant even go fucking shopping… how pathetic….” Shiro muttered to himself. The helplessness sunk in as he stared at the floor, blanking on how to please the most important person in his life one the one day out of the year it was crucial. His hands covered his face as he felt the tension mount in his chest. “Come on don’t fucking do this now Takashi,” he muttered to himself as his eyes began to sting. Keith does so much for him and Shiro couldn’t even think of a way to give back even a tiny fraction of that care on his birthday…. 

Then, Shiro heard that familiar muted zapping noise. He uncovered his eyes to find Kosmo standing in front of him, head tilted to one side. The navy colored wolf gave a soft whine. “H-hey, Kosmo,” Shiro mumbled. He reached out a hand to ruffle the wolf’s thick fur. Kosmo stepped closer and rested his head on Shiro’s knee as if to ask for more. Shiro couldn’t help but smile. Kosmo always seemed to show up when Shiro was upset and Keith wasn’t around. 

As Shiro scratched behind the wolf’s ears, he noticed something was tied around the wolf’s chest, nearly invisible behind all his fluff. “Hey, what’s that you’ve got?” Shiro asked as he leaned over to get a better look. It was some kind of leather belt with a few pockets attached. “Did Keith make this for you?” He asked. Kosmo gave a soft bark. He then noticed a note taped over one of the pouches.

_Takashi - I trained Kosmo to go shopping for you. If you need something while I’m away, just give Kosmo some money and tell him what you want and he’ll go to the store for you. It’s only the grocery store though, and don’t worry, the staff knows. Call me if you have questions. Love you._

Shiro blinked as he processed this new information. “Keith… taught you how to shop for me.” Kosmo barked again. “You are one smart wolf, huh?” A smile tugged at the corner of Shiro’s mouth again. “Hmm… that makes this situation a little easier I guess.” Kosmo sat on his hind legs, watching Shiro attentively. His head cocked to one side again. Shiro could send Kosmo to get a cake from the store. But… would he be able to carry it back all right? Would the staff help secure it so that it wouldn’t fall off and splat on the floor? The last thing Shiro needed was to surprise Keith with five squished cakes and a huge mess. It was the only option Shiro had though, so it was worth a shot.

“Okay, Kosmo… I need you to get me a cake. For Keith. If you can find one that’s red velvet, get that one. If not then… anything chocolate. And also it’ll need candles….any color is fine but try to find red.” The wolf’s expression hadn’t changed. “Um.. got all that?” Kosmo barked and his tail wagged. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Shiro said with a nervous chuckle. “Oh, right, money…” Shiro stood and went back into the bedroom to retrieve his own wallet. Keith of course always left him a card to use while he was away, but Shiro didn’t want Keith knowing about the cake before he got home. It should be a surprise.

“Okay, here you go,” Shiro said, and stuck his card in the pouch labeled “Payment.” Kosmo gave a quick bark and then zapped away. Shiro was left to scratch his head and think about how unexpectedly convenient that was. Keith really does think of everything. 

Shiro sighed again and sunk back into the couch. Now what? What can he do to prepare while he waits for Kosmo? Shiro found himself biting his lip again as he thought. Decorations… balloons. Ribbons for the ceiling? Confetti maybe? He’d need Kosmo to get all of these things for him. Shiro felt sick to his stomach thinking about all of the work this would take to set up, especially since his body still felt like a black hole was trying to pull him through the floor. Keith was worth it though… he had to do something to make up for all Keith did for him.

Shiro still needed a present. Everything he wanted to get for Keith was simply impossible given his inability to leave the house. “Fuck…” Shiro mumbled, realizing he was drawing a blank again. It had to be something amazing… Something that would make up for all the nights Shiro has been useless…. All the days Keith’s had to spend taking care of him … all the times Shiro’s prevented Keith from having time to himself. Shiro’s eyes stung again. It had to be something that would tell Keith his husband wasn’t a complete waste of time. 

“Stop it…” Shiro whispered to himself. He sucked in a deep breath and tried to shove the thoughts away. He leaned back and stared up at the ceiling. Shiro realized part of the reason he was having such a hard time was because he couldn’t remember one time Keith ever asked for anything. He was too busy tending to Shiro, making sure he got whatever he needed or even wanted. Keith barely even expressed interest in things outside of Shiro’s wants and needs. As he thought more about it, Shiro heard Keith’s words ring in his head. All Keith has ever said, all he’s ever talked about wanting was to see Shiro happy, to see him laugh and smile. For Shiro to have a day without tears or pain. For a whole year, that’s the only thing Keith has ever told Shiro he wanted. 

Shiro’s eyes stung and his vision blurred. Just one day… just one day without the burden of Shiro being upset. Hot tears ran down his cheeks and he closed his eyes. He couldn’t even give Keith that for his birthday. 

Before Shiro was able to sink deeper into his warped thoughts, he heard the muffled zap of Kosmo returning from the store. He opened his eyes and sat upright, forcing a smile onto his face. “Hey boy- did you find it?” He asked with a shaky voice. Kosmo whined softly and shoved his head into Shiro’s lap. Shiro wiped his eyes with his sleeve before patting the wolf’s head. “I’m okay, buddy, don’t worry,” He said quietly as he gave the wolf generous scratching. He noticed that Kosmo did indeed find a red velvet cake, and a large one at that. “Just what I asked for, you’re the best,” Shiro said with a chuckle. Kosmo barked quietly and nuzzled his hand. 

The cake had been tied down to Kosmo’s back, maybe a little haphazardly, so Shiro wasted no time liberating it and placing it on the counter. He found the candles he asked for in one of Kosmo’s pouches. He also pulled out another small package. “Oh? What’s this,” Shiro asked, and Kosmo barked again, wagging his tail. “A red lion candle? Wow, even I didn’t think of this,” Shiro said with a chuckle. It gave him some pause to think that the massive, dangerous combat machines he had spent flying for over a year had now been tokenized as birthday candles… but he couldn’t say he was surprised. He patted the top of the wolf’s head again, amused at how extremely pleased with himself the massive wolf looked. 

“Okay, there’s a few more things I thought of while you were gone. Do you think you can get me some balloons, already inflated?” Shiro asked. Kosmo barked. Shiro had decided to take barks as a yes. “Perfect. I’ll also need some streamers and one of those happy birthday letter signs. Can you manage that?” Kosmo barked again with a wag of his tail. “Okay perfect. That’s all for now.” Kosmo barked again and zapped away. 

Shiro rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. “If that wolf wasn’t around I’d go crazy, that’s for sure,” Shiro mumbled to himself. Maybe he could ask Kosmo to hang out with him once the shopping was done. He had no idea what was on that wolf’s agenda or where he goes when he’s not in the house. Probably chasing alien squirrels on an alien planet or something. He was momentarily amused at the thought. 

Shiro felt his stomach growl. He groaned a little, resting a hand over it, realizing he hadn’t eaten anything yet. As he walked to the fridge, he glanced at the clock on the microwave - 1:21 PM. His chest went tight as he realized an hour and a half had already passed. He didn’t know why that stressed him out, but it did. He tried to ignore the feeling as he bent over to see what was left in the fridge, pulling out some left over mac and cheese and an apple. It wasn’t the healthiest option but it was all he had the energy for. 

Shiro popped the mac and cheese into the microwave for a minute and poured himself a glass of milk while he waited. The trivial thought of attempting to prepare dinner crossed his mind and left just as quickly. That was a hard pass. Keith does not need to have the kitchen on fire for his birthday. 

The microwave beeped and Shiro took his food to the kitchen table to begin shoveling it into his mouth. He was usually the slower eater, but this time he had no time to spare. At least, that’s what his gut was telling him. Once he was done, he put the dishes in the sink and was about to walk away when he groaned to himself. Was he seriously going to leave dirty dishes in the sink and expect Keith to do them? “Idiot… idiot.” Shiro mumbled to himself. He went back to the sink and realized that was probably something he should do today - clean. For once Keith could come home to a clean house instead of a dirty one with chores waiting. 

Once he started, Shiro finally started to feel a small amount of energy and motivation that let him continue. It was mainly out of spite of himself, but it was still something to work with. Halfway through wiping down the counter-tops, Kosmo reappeared behind Shiro. 

“Hey buddy- oh my god,” Shiro said, his face turning bright red. Kosmo was sitting there, wagging his tail, with a bouquet of roses clutched gently between his jaws and a cluster of red heart balloons tied around his neck. “K.. Kosmo…” Shiro started to say, then noticed how fast the wolf’s tail was wagging. “You’re really excited huh? All right, I admit, the flowers are a pretty good idea.” He grinned as he took the flowers from the wolf’s jaws, making a face as he promptly wiped the drool away with a paper towel. Kosmo barked proudly as Shiro took the balloons from his neck and tied them to the back of the kitchen chairs. As Shiro reached for the last balloon, Kosmo gave a gentle growl. “Oh, that one’s yours then?” Shiro said with a chuckle. Kosmo wagged his tail again and Shiro scratched behind his ear. “Okay. You deserve a reward for all your hard work.”

Shiro pulled the streamers out of Kosmo’s pockets and began hanging them from the ceiling, tying them to whatever else he could without them getting in the way. He was very grateful for not having to balance on top of chairs to reach the ceiling, thanks to his hovering prosthetic arm that seemed to have infinite range. Finally he hung the happy birthday sign and the room had been transformed into a festive celebration that to the casual observer might appear somewhat valentine’s themed. Shiro turned to see Kosmo had taken it upon himself to curl up on the couch. He smiled and joined him, scratching through the thick fur on his back. “I think Keith will be impressed, don’t you?” He asked jokingly, and Kosmo yawned in response. “All right, don’t get too excited.” 

Kosmo whined softly as Shiro stood back up. “You’re welcome to nap on the bed but this house won’t clean itself,” Shiro said with an eyebrow raised. Kosmo barked, then got to his feet and trotted over to the closet where the cleaning supplies were kept. “Oh, you’re gonna help?” Shiro asked. Kosmo kept rummaging for a few moments before pulling his head out and turning to Shiro, the handle of a duster between his teeth. His tail wagged. “Okay, just try not to knock anything over this time,” Shiro joked with a grin.   
He let Kosmo trot around the house dragging the duster over whatever he could reach as Shiro got back to cleaning the kitchen. By the time he had covered every room in the house doing whatever he could to clean up, two more hours had passed and it was almost 4:00. Kosmo had given up after the first half hour and Shiro found him snoring softly, curled up at the end of the bed. Shiro sat at his side and ran his fingers through his fur. “Yeah me too… “ he said quietly. Every inch of Shiro’s body was begging him to lay down and sleep, but he knew if he did then he wouldn’t be awake when Keith got home. He would need to set an alarm. 

A yawn overtook him and he stretched, deciding it would be best to take a short nap after all. He leaned over to the clock and set the alarm for 45 minutes from now, then settled into bed on his side, pulling the blankets over himself. He closed his eyes and relaxed, focusing on the soft embrace of the mattress and the warmth of the blankets around him. Not a minute passed before he felt a shifting weight on the bed and the feeling of Kosmo plopping onto his side next to Shiro. He smiled and rested his arm around the wolf, his face nuzzled gently into thick fur. It wasn’t long before Shiro drifted off into a gentle sleep. 

***

Everything was fuzzy until Shiro felt a slobbering lick to the face, and he instinctively shoved Kosmo away. “Gross, Kosmo, stop it,” He mumbled, then realized he’d slept through his alarm and it was already past 5. “Shit-” he mumbled, sliding out of bed, furiously trying to tame the stuck up parts of his hair as he rounded the bed and walked into the kitchen.

“Takashi?”

Shiro stopped in his tracks as he heard his name. Keith was already home. Shiro looked up and saw him standing there next to the balloons, looking like he was about to cry. 

“K-Keith? Are you-” 

Before Shiro could finish asking, Keith had already stepped toward him and slipped his hands on either side of Shiro’s head, pulling him into a long kiss. Shiro’s arms slid around Keith’s waist as his surprise dissipated, and he pulled him close against his own body. 

Finally Keith pulled away, a broad smile curving his cheeks. “Takashi.. You.. you did all this for me?” He asked, his voice a gentle murmur.

Shiro’s heart caught in his throat. He hadn’t expected Keith to be so emotional. “Y-yeah… of course,” Shiro said, “I had to do something for your birthday.” 

Keith continued to smile. “It’s amazing, Takashi, thank you,” Keith said softly. It was clear to Shiro then that Keith hadn’t expected anything like this. That Shiro would have the energy to even get out of bed, based on how the past month has been. It made Shiro’s chest swell with warmth, and a genuine smile crept onto his face. 

“Well, I did have some help,” Shiro said as he looked over at Kosmo, whose tail was furiously wagging. Keith looked down at the excited wolf and crouched, giving him a good nuzzle. 

“Did you help Takashi decorate today?” He asked, and Kosmo gave a proud bark. “Good boy,” Keith said, chuckling at the balloon bouncing above him. “You gave him a balloon?” Keith asked with an eyebrow raised. 

Shiro smirked. “He gave himself that balloon, actually. Growled when I tried to take it.” Kosmo barked again, confirming the story. 

“I guess you do have some style, then,” Keith teased, giving Kosmo’s neck a good ruffle. He returned to Shiro, gently taking both his hands. 

“Um, Keith,” Shiro said, his stomach sinking. “I uh… I wasn’t able to get you a gift. I’m sorry…” 

Keith smiled gently. “Takashi,” He said softly. 

Shiro looked to him. 

“This is more than I could have asked for. And the best part is that I haven’t seen you this energetic in months. The only thing I’ve wanted for a long time is for you to be happy..” 

Shiro’s eyes stung. “I know… but, Keith… Isn’t there anything you want for yourself?”

Keith's expression hardened just a little. “That is what I want for myself. I want you to be happy. You’re my whole universe, Takashi. Nothing else is more important to me than you.” Keith looked down at Shiro’s hands for a moment. “There was a time when you gave everything you had to help me. I probably wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. So it’s my turn to do the same thing for you. That’s what my life is about now, and… I love it. Because I love you.” 

Keith’s eyes were wet as each word was spoken. Shiro squeezed his hands, eyes nearly gone blurry with tears, and smiled. “I understand,” he whispered.

Keith touched his forehead to Shiro’s and smiled. “Good. Now… Let’s have some cake, hmm?” 

Shiro nodded and let go of Keith. “Okay, sit down and close your eyes.” 

Keith raised an eyebrow but did as he was told.

Shiro stuck the candles in the cake with the lion in the center, and lit each one, then brought it over and set it in front of Keith. 

“Okay you can look,” Shiro said with a broad grin. 

Keith opened his eyes and his eyebrows flew up high. “What the - Where did you get that red lion candle??” 

“Ask Kosmo.” 

Keith turned his head to Kosmo, who gave a proud bark while watching eagerly and wagging his tail furiously.

They both laughed, and Keith blew out all the candles in one go. Shiro cut each of them a piece of cake and as he was about to dig in, he felt a tug on his pant leg. 

“What- Kosmo, what are you doing?” He asked, looking down at the wolf, who looked like he wanted Shiro to follow him. 

“Hmm, seems like he might have another bright idea. Better go with him,” Keith mused. 

Shiro sighed and did as he was told, rounding the counter to the back of the kitchen. Kosmo sat just underneath the microwave. Shiro raised an eyebrow and was about to ask what the deal was, but then he saw the flowers. “Oh- Heh, smart wolf. I almost forgot.” He gave Kosmo a pat on the head and then came back to the table. 

“I might have lied earlier about the gift, though, it’s Kind of a gift from me and Kosmo.” He pulled the flowers out from behind his back, and Keith’s eyes widened. 

“Oh my god,” He said with a chuckle. As Shiro handed him the flowers, Keith made a face. “Roses with wolf slobber… yep, definitely a Kosmo gift,” Keith said with a chuckle. 

Shiro fluffed the wolf’s fur again before he sat back down. “Oh, and, uh sorry I forgot to say it this morning but - Happy Birthday.” Shiro gave an apologetic grin.

“Wow, how will I ever forgive you?” Keith teased, and Shiro grinned widely. He caught Keith smiling at him dreamily two bites of cake later. 

“I love you too, Keith,” Shiro teased lightly back. 

The two smiled, unable to do anything else, and by the end of the night, Shiro was finally able to remember what it felt like when his cheeks got sore from smiling too much.


End file.
